If You Feel Like You’re Falling Apart, You May Be in Perimenopause — And No One Told You

Many women believe menopause happens in their 50s.

They expect hot flushes, missed periods, and then it’s over.

What most women are never told is this:

Menopause is not something that suddenly begins. It is the end point of a long hormonal transition.

That transition is called perimenopause, and for many women, it is the most difficult stage of all.

Because it often begins years earlier — quietly — and without explanation.

What Is Perimenopause?

Perimenopause is the phase before menopause when a woman’s hormones begin to fluctuate.

It can start as early as the late 30s, but most commonly begins in the early to mid-40s.

During this time:

Estrogen rises and crashes unpredictably.

Progesterone declines first.

Hormones no longer follow a stable monthly pattern.

This creates a hormonal rollercoaster — not a gentle decline.

That instability is what causes many of the intense symptoms women experience.

Perimenopause vs Menopause:

What’s the Difference?

Many women confuse the two, so here is a simple explanation.

Perimenopause:

• Can last 7 to 10 years

• Periods still occur (but may change)

• Hormones fluctuate wildly

• Symptoms come and go

• Often emotionally and mentally intense

Menopause:

• Diagnosed after 12 months with no period

• Estrogen remains consistently low

• Hormones stabilise at a lower leve

l• Symptoms often become more predictable

In simple terms:

Perimenopause equals chaos.

Menopause equals stability after the storm.

This is why many women say perimenopause feels worse than menopause itself.

Why So Many Women Don’t Know They’re in Perimenopause

Most women expect menopause symptoms to look like hot flushes and missed periods.

But perimenopause often begins with symptoms that don’t seem hormonal at all.

Women are told they are stressed, burnt out, depressed, or anxious.

In reality, hormones affect the brain directly.

Hormones influence mood, sleep, anxiety response, memory, energy, and libido.

When they fluctuate, women feel it everywhere.

Common Perimenopause Symptoms

Every woman’s experience is different, but many report the following.

Symptoms Checklist (you can screenshot this):

Mental and emotional symptoms:

• Anxiety or panic attacks

• Sudden mood swings

• Irritability or rage

• Low mood or emotional numbness

• Loss of confidence

• Feeling “not like yourself”

Physical symptoms:

• Extreme fatigue

• Joint and muscle pain

• Headaches or migraines

• Breast tenderness

• Weight gain, especially around the stomach

• Bloating and inflammation

Sleep symptoms:

• Insomnia

• Waking during the night

• Night sweats

• Racing thoughts

Brain and focus:

• Brain fog

• Memory problems

• Forgetting words

• Difficulty concentrating

Period changes:

• Heavier or lighter periods

• Shorter or longer cycles

• Spotting

• Missed periods

Sex and intimacy:

• Low libido

• Vaginal dryness

• Pain during sex

• Sudden increase in sex drive

• Changes in sensitivity

If you recognise several of these symptoms, perimenopause may be the cause.

Why It Can Feel So Overwhelming

Estrogen plays a major role in serotonin and dopamine — the chemicals responsible for mood and emotional stability.

When estrogen fluctuates, anxiety can increase, sleep can worsen, emotions can feel unstable, and stress tolerance drops.

This is why many women say:

“I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

Perimenopause can mimic anxiety and depression even in women who have never experienced mental health problems before.

Why Blood Tests Often Say “Normal”

Hormone levels fluctuate daily during perimenopause.

A single blood test cannot accurately capture this instability.

For this reason, perimenopause is usually diagnosed based on symptoms, age, and cycle changes — not blood tests alone.

What Can Help?

Support may include:

• Education and understanding

• Better sleep support

• Stress reduction

• Gentle movement instead of intense exercise

• Balanced nutrition

• Supplements when appropriate

• Hormone therapy for some women

There is no one-size-fits-all solution.

But women should never be expected to suffer in silence.

When to Seek Support

You should seek medical support if symptoms are affecting your mental health, sleep, work, or relationships.

You are not being dramatic.

These changes are physiological.

Final Message

If you are in your late 30s, 40s, or early 50s and feel exhausted, anxious, emotionally unstable, or unlike yourself, please hear this:

You are not broken.

You are not weak.

You are not failing.

You may be in perimenopause — a stage of life many women enter without warning or education.

Understanding what is happening can replace fear with clarity.

And clarity allows you to stop blaming yourself and start supporting your body.

You are not losing your mind.

You are going through a hormonal transition that deserves understanding, compassion, and support.